The Hook Up Deal

Alt. Titles: Friends With Benefits, FWB, Friends Without Borders, We’re Practically Not Dating

Starring:  Miley Kunis, Justin Tumblerlake

Directions:  Pre-watch preview in order to understand preview review. Review after the jump.

Whoa, cool! This one starts with a bang cause there’s a wolf howling on the soundtrack. Mila Konehead is pissed because the guy from the Hot Rod preview is dumping her, and the red girl breaks the heart of Timberlake-- but no hell breaks loose AT ALL, which is boring. JT just makes a few noises and grumbles his way home.

Now we shall stop dating.

uuuuooohhggrrrmmmmm

whoo????

Then the Main Characters start to bitch at one another about their opposite sex issues like weaklings.

They are at a breakfast house and they are gnashing their teeth on some corn or something and they both make a joke about their crippling human conditions.  At this point you can tell that Konehead would like to feel dead inside.  Timberwolves agrees to this and applauds her lifeless eyes.

Adam Sandler told me I been dump'd.

What’s cool about this is that they make a pact and swear to the iPad, because in 5 years, that won’t be an embarrassing reference. THEN, here is where the HOT stuff happens: they “shake hands.”  

Sweet 'pad ref.

Afterwards, the old lady comes in and touches Justin’s private torso area, then makes a joke about how they feel like a woman’s? I’m confused by this part, someone explain.

Your body is a woman's body.

Woody from Cheers shaves three bald patches into his egg and makes gay jokes about his own realistic-sounding gay sexual orientation.  He shows Justin how to love again.  This is followed by the yellow haired lady from the Krippendorf’s Tribe preview showing Konehead the pictures of Justin’s braidhorns.  

"Queerly, I am gay." - Woody 1951-2011

Then Konehead finds out JT loves rapping rap songs and bobbing his head like a little goose.

Hottie goose wobble like a chicken.

Then Justin belches raps out of his face in order to woo her back from the brink of neutered affection. Konehead agrees with his raps and asks him to sing directly into her mouth and then later on they do a cool-guy chest bump.

Miley struggles to keep all her barf in as he sings into her mouth.

Faults:



Chest bump dumb. Don’t even watch that part at all.


This is the longest Aeropostale commercial I’ve ever seen.


Konehead doesn’t have any lines in this preview.  She just stares like a wild mantis into JT’s under garments.



Plus Sides (with SPOILER ALERTS):

Koneysauce forgets that she has death on her breath and decides to love a curly haired goof-em-up! Unfortunately, there is a really sad ending called Miley commits suicide.

Spoiled Alert: Miley Konehead jumps to her death.