Directions: Pre-watch preview in order to understand preview review.
When John wakes up from his little bed, Fred Krueger tells him it's, like, the 70s, man.
Beetlejuice plays Barnaby Cullen, a ripoff of the character Ed Cullen from the Twilight miniseries, and The Ed Sullivan Show. Both those shows was also about witches and stuff, just like this one.
John Depp rises from the gwave to create a smash hit of a preview named "The Addams Family." It's about time this important issue of 'pires made it to the silver screen again. It's been 45 days since anything was written or filmed about 'pires. This preview is all about how John Depp got turned into an umpire.
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| SAAAAAAAAFFE |
When John wakes up from his little bed, Fred Krueger tells him it's, like, the 70s, man.
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| Trance Hell Vanilla 6-5000 |
Let's jump right into the jokes, and then move on to the real-feel of the 1970s vibe that you can expect to find here. For example, a 12 year old girl notices John acting like as if he has smoked a weed. She's a very brash woman and just comes right out with it: "lol what are you smoking, wacky taffy?" It's funny cause it ain't even got invented yet, the wacky taffy. Bill Wonka.
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| Oh, you fancy, huh? |
Next of all, we can see that John's bangs have gotten curled across his forehead,
shining brightly, and into the shape of several perfect, gleaming, yellow crescent
rolls. His hairs look a little too Frank-N-Stein, which is a mixing of stories!
Get your facts straight! Where's Myth Bursters when you need them lol.
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| Three bites and you're out. |
John the Umpire decides to go rolling around his house with the witch that stole his life since he thought she seemed nice enough. They crash around the house, and into the set of That 70s Shoe. Lava lamps start flying around the room cause they are getting "turned on," which is one of several subtle jokes about lights being turned on. It really takes a seasoned comedic pallet to understand these references. It's like reading The Waste Land by T.S. Eliot. You might even want to bring that book with you into the theater. "Bring a book," raves Pre-Preview.
PLUS SIDES:
Tom Burton is the director and lunchtime attendant for this hard-hitting, important film about an umpire learning the value of technology in the face of that brat the witch.
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| Girl got a nice tube |
FAULTS:
Not enough "going into town" scenes in this preview. Would have liked to see him run into a "redneck" or a "bible humper." Golden opportunity missed!
Well, I had avoided reading this for a long time because I wanted to wait until I saw the movie. Well, I never saw the movie, so here I am LOL.
ReplyDeleteThis article gives me a lot of information about the history of the Bill Wonka company and a little bit about why they invented Laffy Taffy (I guess to promote vampirism? LOL didn't really get that part)
Anyway, I learned not much, learned even less, and finally was saddled with omniscient awareness of every atom on Earth. It was like being punched in the hard with a hard corn. I'm not about to tell you "this or that" or why you "should or should" NOT see this movie. What i WILL say is that if you're looking for an erotic documentary about vampires and their crimes, look no further, but you can also probably skip it and just read the Clifford Notes.