Xtreme Primo Buzz

Directions: Pre-watch preview in order to understand preview review. 

So! Just blast open a cold refreshing can of Surge soda pop and look at these fixie bike heads.

The jungle: New Yuck City. Lots of bike messengers live a radical life of acrobatics, explosions, crashes, and Xtreme Basic Mail Delivery. They are the messengers of the world, constantly surrounded in a city full of cars that can crush their delicate, supple bodies.

Hang ten, gnarly dude, etc. Shop at Whole Foods, save money

Then Joe Gordon Fisherman, who plays Wilee (no shit), jumps in and says No Stopping 4 No Nothing Ever, as he gets killed 11 consecutive times by the same cab driver, at different times of the day. This part requires several viewings because the first time you watch, you're too busy making your mouth smile over it's Xtreme Stupidosity.

Here's your boy, smiling like a peeimp. Died 8 times

Then the girl is like You must deliver these pieces of paper or else we’re all dead. 

All crime felons send their ransom notes and million dollar computer chips through Lil' Quickie Fixie Bike Messengers.

And Wilee is like Yeah yeah shut up my itunes are on right now! There’s this one song playing by a cool new york hip band called Yeah Am I Singing This Right, Okay?

Later on, this one guy goes up to the main actor and is like Give me that envelope, kid!! And J. Gordon Wilee says Hey, once its grabbed, its in the bag. By the way you can call me Bro-J, kinda like the actor who stole all that sports memorabilia, which is what he's famous for.

Here's a picture of that exchange:

Both wimps

 
But wait!

SPINNED!

Wilee proceeds to do a fairly kickass 720 spin off the dude’s nose!!!! Then, the guy goes straight into his Curly-getting-mad dance and screams: Do you know who I am, don't you want to know who I am, why I ought to! He continues with this for about 10 minutes, and then picks up an overweight hammer, which makes him fall backwards into a pothole cause he can't lift it, it's so heavy. Moe comes in and goes "Eyaah eyaah eyaah!" while he has Larry's nose scheduled to do a magic trick in his fist at the current time. 

BIKE MOVES DONE BY JOSEPH GORDON WILSON PHILLIPS IN THE PREVIEW:

1. Stomp180 - It's like that thing when you have to diss someone but the best way to do it is just by stomping hard on your front circle. After that, roll your eyes a full 180 degrees, backwards, so they know that they look like a real sloppy chump. More of a parlor trick than a bike move, but whatever!

2. Under/Over Water 'n Potatoes, Jr. - Self-explanatory.


3. The Crabby Hangman - Mid-spin nap attack! Get grumpy and loud near the end.


FAULTS:

This preview needs to watch Real World: Seattle and get back to me.

PLUS SIDES:

Pretty funny hit in the balls joke told by this girl.