In this preview Wolvee gets back into fighting for once. He is a punching guru that sucks at fighting in the alley, but rules at pretend fighting the air while a robot does all the real fighting next door to him.
 |
| weird sneeze |
 |
| wax on |
John Locke from Lost plays a girl in this preview, to show his acting chops.
 |
| We must press the button...on the robot... robot in a hatch? I don't...Where is the smoke. |
 |
| AACTINGGGAAAAAAAAAAA |
John and Wolvee have their weekly make-out sesh, and that’s when John’s bratty kid comes in, covered in mud, screeching about robots.
 |
| I want to give birth to a robo-bot. |
The muddy child throws Jack Human’s keys downt the well and Jack gets pissed off.
 |
| drop her downt |
After Jack allows a robot to wail on the kid out of revenge, they go to Radio Shack storage garage of the future, and look through all the toaster cadavers. Then they uncover something on the mud floor and they realize that a big robot grave is right under there, of course! So the kid sticks his grubby hands in the robot's mouf.
 |
| love at first bite. |
They drag iron giant’s rotted body in a wagon down the street like a goddamn corpse parade and then mud baby decides to hose him off. At that point, you can tell that he is in love with his new transformer and can’t wait to see its head get smashed in. They named it The Robot Friendbert B. Sputter Chump, Adam for short.
 |
| here you go, rusty, eat my waters. |
Now they have to go to the applestore and buy the robot iPunch so it can be upgraded to be a lean mean fighting machine n’ grille. Also, they have to show it how to dress up in clothes and say slang words so it fits in at school. They make it watch hours of TV so it learns how to dance for the prom.
Milla Jojovich reprises her role from Fifth Element to mentor the robot on how to learn human culture, and says shit like bahtzubaht, like, a lot. Then Nell comes in and says Fro' tye Maw waw wi'a Law, Nell done come lone, and the crowd goes bonkers.
 |
| NELLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Friendbert learns how to do the hip thrust dance and does a hula hoop motion while he drags his knuckles on the ground like an ape.
At the end of the preview, Adam break-dances and they use his clumsiness in his favor! Turns out his dancing ends up killing everyone in the room. It’s a putrid bloodbath of severed heads and arms, the walls spattered with human gore and insides. But it’s done tastefully.
FAULTS:
Wolvee is always on his cell phone and ignoring Anakin, how wude.
PLUS SIDES:
Jack Human does several impressions of John Kerry's Rubberface routine.
 |
| hhhhhhhhh |
 |
| iiiiiiiii? |
 |
| gabba gabba hey! |
